Wednesday, March 30, 2011

"They"

"Who made up all the rules?
We follow them like fools,
Believe them to be true,
Don't care to think them through

And I'm sorry, so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry, so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

And it's ironic too
'Cause what we tend to do
Is act on what they say
And then it is that way

And I'm sorry, so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this
I'm sorry, so sorry
I'm sorry we do this

Who are they?
Where are they?
How can they possibly
Know all this?
Who are they?
Where are they?
How can they possibly
Know all this?

Do you see what I see?
Why do we live like this?
Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss?

Who are they?
Where are they?
How do they
Know all this?
And I'm sorry, so sorry
I'm sorry it's like this

Do you see what I see?
Why do we live like this?
Is it because it's true
That ignorance is bliss?

And who are they?
Where are they?
How can they
Know all this?
And I'm sorry, so sorry
I'm sorry we do this"

-Jem

If you followed my original blog, as I know many of you have, you will recall that I have a distinct fondness for posting the lyrics of certain favorite songs of mine. This is one of them, They by Jem, I highly recommend at least looking it up on you tube and listening to it at least once, because along with great lyrics, it's actually quite a good song and I am a big fan of the artist. Given my recent rants and what has been circling my mind lately, it seemed a fitting song to throw in. The reason I don't post the video is because it would detract one from the words, so if you like the lyrics, look it up yourself, simple concept. Given the insane amount of power that celebrities hold (just look at what happened with Roman Polanski), the sexual sluttiness but lack of progressiveness in this country, how we see individuals and value them based on their occupation and bank accounts, rather than for the people they are, the growing rate and also decline of a myriad of shit (I could says things or use some other word, but shit just really seems to fit the profile, because that is what it is, it is shit) so, a myriad of shit it is, that I won't get into right now, but simply put, really fucking suck... and given the state of this country, I'm not even going to include the rest of the world in this right now. Just American chaos and society alone, the security and faith, sorry the false sense of it, all tends to come from the oh so powerful source of "They", and we give them that power time and time again, in so many ways, even in just our everyday actions and words alone. Much the way true submission is given not taken. "We" submit to "Them" ... and I am truly sorry for it. So sorry.

I just want to add, in case someone emails me in regards to it, that I am aware of the grammatical use of the word myriad and the debate over the proper use of the word... noun versus adjective, ancient times versus now, yea, I don't give a fuck. Which reminds me "Me thinks the lady doth protest too much" ... commonly misused myriadically (no, that is not an actual word, I am just making/having fun). Anyway, when I hear someone actually throw that phrase in, because it is so well known and a lot of people think they are being cute, I kinda can't help but cringe. First off, I believe it's misquoted, secondly, and this is where I am sure, where we commonly associate it with objection, in Shakespeare's day it was actually meant as an affirmation, as though she insisted too strongly. We've all experienced that before, when someone vehemently declares "trust me" or "I did" or " I am", over and over again to the extent that it's kinda like, I don't know, the lady doth protest too much... basically, you're overdoing it in some way, shape or form and thus me thinks it is a load of crap.

Another thing to add, I will admit to being a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to grammar and english in general. Misuse of different forms of the same word, incorrect spelling, use of the word brung... it is not a word... (only I get to make up words)...using words such as deers *ahem*, the use of good in place of well, the use of mad in place of angry, while these sort of errors commonly draw my attention, I do commit many crimes myself. A common one, for me, is the run on sentence. I have been guilty of it since grade school. My thoughts tend to run on, thus when I speak my sentences run on and so forth. This is, I believe is one of the breakable rules. I have seen, not scene, but seen or rather I have read, that's a question of semantics, anyway, novelists who have written whole paragraphs as one giant run on sentence. I have done it countless times. So, I say, if you happen to not be a fan of the run on sentence, and find yourself to be a stickler for periods when you feel they are due... you can stick a tampon in it.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

An Interesting Twist, on One of my Favorite Fables...

A frog was hopping along in the forest, heading home to her family, when all of a sudden she came upon a small river. Now, the frog, being a great swimmer as frogs are, was about to leap into the river in order to cross it - when she heard a voice:
"Is there any chance, kind lady, that you can help me across this river? For I cannot swim."

The frog turned toward the direction of the voice, and was startled to see a scorpion moving toward her on the river bank. Now, everyone knows the history of scorpions - they sting and have a deadly poison. So the frog was understandably a bit frightened, and trembled as she asked the scorpion:

"If I help you across the river, will you promise not to sting me? You see, I am on the way home to my family and they would miss me terribly."

The scorpion answered:

"Kind lady, I understand your concern, but I too am on the way home to my family, and if I sting you, we would both drown, and who wants that? Besides, contrary to what you may have heard, I only sting for self defense - like if a fox should try to eat me. Please do me this great favor - I would be so grateful!"

The frog considered the scorpion's words, which didn't seem like the words of a killer. She thought to herself: "I mean no harm to the scorpion, why should he sting me? If he stings me, we will both drown, and he must value life as much as I. If I help him, he will be my friend - because he knows that I am a nice frog. As my friend, the scorpion would surely tell all the other scorpions that I am a friend, and that they too should never sting me! And they wouldn't sting my frog family or my frog friends either! And we frogs would be more than happy to help all scorpions cross the rivers! And maybe all the scorpions would help protect all the frogs and other small creatures from the truly dangerous creatures of the forest!"

By this time, the frog was so excited about helping the scorpion that she didn't want to even start thinking of reasons not to help. Besides the danger was too scary to think about - compared to the wonderful future that awaits the frogs and other small creatures of the forest with this new era of cooperation. "It will truly be a paradise.", she thought. So the frog crouched down and let the scorpion jump onto her back. She then hopped into the river with the scorpion on her back and began swimming - and she swam beautifully, as frogs do. But when they got to the middle of the river she felt something painful in her side.

"Ouch!" said the frog, "What was that???"

"I just stung you.", said the scorpion.

The frog began to feel the poison take effect. It became harder for her to move, harder to swim. She thought about the paradise of universalistic brotherhood that could have been, and she cried out to the scorpion:

"Why did you do that?! Now we will both drown - we could have been friends! Perhaps you can save yourself; swim to the other side!"

But it was too late, and scorpions can't swim. As they began to sink, the scorpion answered:

"I am not like you; we don't care about dying or making friends. We lie and sting. It is our nature, didn't you know that?"

The frog and the scorpion sank fast to the bottom of the river, and the frog thought about the scorpion's question.

"Yes.", thought the frog, still puzzled that frogs and scorpions should think and act differently, after all, they are both small creatures of the forest. "Maybe I said or did something to anger him...?!", thought the frog.


-Author Unknown...still

I adore the original version of this tale, always have, even as a child it struck a chord in me. The one, essential line that says it all... "I could not help myself, it is my nature". So when I saw that someone had written a new twist on it, I read it, skeptical though because I do believe classics should remain that way, for most often they're rarely improved upon and seldom matched. Though I found myself, smiling. I suppose they made it a bit more user friendly, so to speak. All the things the original gave us, without saying, that made us think, this included. The cliffs notes version more or less. Still, it remains a favorite tale of mine. At our very core, we cannot help ourselves, it is, truly, in our nature. There is no line, nothing that expresses it as bluntly as so. That said, we do have different natures. The frog, would have always given the scorpion a ride, and the scorpion would have always stung him/her. We are what and who we are. The thing that made me laugh towards the end was that the frog was questioning whether she, herself, was at fault. It links back to our inability to see others natures, understand them, if they are not in sync with our own. The fact of the matter is, people rarely change, we do, but it is rare. This is why we see people riding the merry go round over and over again, each time, complaining because it is not the ride they want to take, and yet they continue to get back on the damn thing. Thus, we have the definition of insanity. The inability to step away from ourselves and change our patterns... If I were the frog, I would say no, easy for me to sit here and type that, knowing how it ends, but, the scorpion was no friend of mine and I am not a fan of the odds nor am I a fan of gambling, particularly roulette, of the russian nature. If I were the scorpion, I would have been a patient one and stung the bastard at the shore, if that were my nature. That's me now, not me 5 years ago, however... but that thus defeats the essential purpose of the story, we are who we are... we just have to learn to accept that and be comfortable with it, though oddly enough, as human beings and we can even see this is horror/thriller movies... dramas, tv shows, we have that essential, burning desire, to know why? That's why we open the door in the middle of a horror film and see if anyone is outside. When really, it can just be as simple as, because I can and because it's who I am. It is in my nature... but many of us, I believe,  don't know our own natures... or we our frogs that wish to be scorpions. That's why I think I always admired the scorpion, not for his actions, but because, he knew, that was who he was and didn't apologize for it, he just accepted it and drowned... and though he didn't fight to live, he didn't fight himself while he lived.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

There is No Other Woman...

Often, I am asked how much of my persona is me and how much of it is an act. Truth is, there is little, if any distinction. When you meet me, you're meeting me. I think anyone whoever has senses that. The deviousness that haunts the mind of Aurora Storms, also haunts my own. The playfulness and wit. We both have our secrets, because sometimes wicked things should stay that way. We are both open and quite hard to offend, we are both fierce and yet sensual, caring and loyal. We both hate to be lied to, and yet find it extraordinary that so many people are capable of lying to themselves on a daily basis because we can't understand the need to or the desire. Though we do understand the fear. In fact Aurora is more me than... well, "what's in a name..." Even my blackberry says Aurora on it and this is why I am headed to CT to live in my own little world, to create the world I live in and bring it to life for others to enjoy as well. I go to extremes for my ideals, for myself, my convictions and close loved ones. I know what I want and I am more than content with who I am. I could live anywhere, or I could create someplace... it's obvious and some might say unhealthy, but to be blunt, I really don't give a fuck, it's not their life. It's not their choice. Isn't that the whole point of free will or does it even really exist anymore if in fact it ever did. I went after my own happiness first, I found it in me and I continue to feed it. I may be selfish, but I'm happy and passionate about my life and what I aim to create. I couldn't find a path I wanted to stroll down so I took a knife, hacked through the branches and created one and I continue to do so... keep following me, you'll see exactly what I mean over the next few years. I'm going to recreate the bdsm scene to where I imagine it to be, where many of us have grown bored and tired, disenchanted with it, it will become, I will push it to...levels of depravity uncalled for, intense, raw... real...a place of decadence, unrestrained, creative and unprecedented.

The biggest fool is often the one looking back at you in the mirror. I may be many things, but I am no fool. I am only me, it's all I know how to be. I may channel different parts and emotions, but I don't fake them, they exist inside of me and I wish only to release them. So no, there is no other woman... I love and am, only myself, regardless of name. "So what if you can see the darkest side of me"?

Monday, March 21, 2011

Throw Your Stones Somewhere Else...

Bdsm and fetishes in general are perfectly healthy and stimulating.
Being miserable is not.
Seeking someone you desire in your life to compliment you is quite healthy.
Expecting someone to complete you, need you and/or save you is definitely not.
Being gay is not a disease, you won't catch it.
Believing marriage is a tradition that should be upheld is awfully hypocritical. 
Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, true.
Everyone should have opinion's, false.
Love should conquer all... it's a lovely fantasy.
Love conquers all... only in theory.
Constantly asking why and constantly learning is ideal.
Rejecting the opportunity to do so unless needed is usually the case.
Inserting objects that are not meant to go in certain places, sounds like fun.
Being in the ER and having to explain what happened, not so much.
Spiders are probably more scared of us than we are than them... possibly.
We are more terrified than spiders than they are of us... DUH!!!
Dreams are a wonderful thing... absolutely.
Dreams don't come true unless you get off your ass... abso-fucking-lutely.
Ignorance is bliss... to some.
Ignorance is a disease... for many... and one of the most dangerous ones of all. 

Throw your stones somewhere else... because you negate your own beliefs with your own actions and words... and if you can't see that, that just goes to prove my own point. Ignorance is a profitable disease. Imagine what would happen if everyone just accepted people, regardless of whether or not they agreed with their choices. I will add one more thing, in case it is not understood already, I am not condoning acts that are non consensual and induce bodily harm.





Friday, March 18, 2011

Sex Goddess Kianna Dior and... ME!

                                      Details to Cum....

The Fed-Ex Guy is a Sick Sadistic Fucker.

This coming very me, yes I am aware. There's not much about my life that's all too regular, including my sleep patterns and habits. Yes, I have heard it all... but my brain is stubborn and doesn't respond, in fact it has started to, alarmingly enough, even work while I sleep, not just as I am trying to fall asleep, many times unsuccessfully, but while I am sleeping it comes up with complete twisted scenes and I wake up going, ooohh, that was good, I'm going to have to shoot that. Now while this seems productive, I just want some quiet time in my head while I am sleeping, but constantly get bombarded by thoughts, people I would rather not see and work... and no, I refuse to take sleeping pills, it's just not natural. I have read that highly creative people have a lot of nightmares, if that is the case, well then that's a lovely side effect because I have 3 or 4 a night with the ability to recall a fair amount of them upon waking. Anyway, back to my point... our Fed ex guys are typically very nice, but this last one a few days ago, the last time I was able to really sleep, was a complete dickhead. Now, let me explain what I deem acceptable. Take phone calls... call me once, then text me... I will respond, really, I will. There is a reason I am not picking up. Now call me twice one right after another, alright, but this is only acceptable on several terms... one, you're not sure if the first call went through, we've all been there... or two, you're a close friend or three it's an emergency... in which case, you now have carte blanche to call me to no end. Then every once in awhile you have the three time caller, in which case... it better be important, even if you are a close friend, because you are going to worry the fuck out of me, and I like my fuck right where it is, thank you very much... that or you are going to piss me off the fuck off and that just really won't be good for your health.  Now, similar rules apply to ringing my doorbell, only they now become even stricter, because, if you know where I live, do not by any means abuse the privilege. I absolutely detest unannounced visitors. There is a list of about three friends who can do so and that's where it starts and ends. If you're a neighbor... go away, most likely you want something, I'm not answering the door, leave me alone, I have done more than enough for you already, plus you have my phone number so fucking call me first. Now if the house is burning down, no worries, I have a homemade rope ladder, just call 911 and me... carte blanche...but don't knock on my door. This is not the 90s, I don't care if you have a fruit basket, a fruit pie or you're just a fruitcake, just go away, I'm busy. So now, who does that leave... fed ex, repair and utilities, etc... all of those guys, who will usually after a knock or two just leave the package or a slip/bill on your door. This newbie, fucking fucker though, did not. There I was... all curled up in bed, sleeping soundly, well almost, and there's a knock, proceeded by a shit storm of knocking... very much the way a locked out drunk loved one would at 4am, because they're kind of allowed, it's like family law. Then he rings the doorbell, not just once, but a slew of repetitive ringing as though he was pumping a dozen bullets into someone's chest. Suffice to say, I woke up, in that way you do when you know there is no way on earth you are rolling over and falling back asleep. I was not a happy camper to say the least... and I have not really slept since. So, the Fed Ex guy is one sick sadistic fucker... because clearly the main car parking spaces were empty so on top of that, he is a sick sadistic stupid fucker. The world is falling apart, Noah and his magical ark have yet to appear and guys like this still get to walk around, with jobs, ringing doorbells, waking up poor innocent girls... and me. I love it when I hear people talking about how life isn't fair, because I am not sure why they ever thought it was or would be, did they get it in writing and notified, because really, where did that idea come from. Nothing that involves humans will ever be fair, it will always be tainted, have alterior motives and be biased. Yes, when your teacher told you that she/he didn't favor some of their students, they were lying. So clearly, it is anything but... duh.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Deliciously Depraved

Many people, I find, use so many words, really without thinking first, but do not live by them. Some, because these are the things they hope to become, they wish they were, words to impress, words to hide behind... words, which can be so eloquent and expressive, but words without conviction, words without truth, are worthless words. Their own actions betray them. I value my words far too much to fake them, because essentially, that is what is being done. There is a box, a cage which we are born into... society and all of its judgements, limitations, closed off to expanding on views that have been ingrained into us. Belief without question. Faith without self love. Believing that their thoughts our their own and not realizing that they have been influenced from the day they were born and still are, in a state of conditioned thinking... told what to think, not taught how. Almost everywhere you look, you will most likely find examples in one form or another that mirrors this. We don't really want people to see all the way into the darkest parts of ourselves, because that would be bad and we would then have to then suffer the consequences... whatever they might be. People ask for the truth, but can seldom handle it. It's quite the paradox and it's quite a shame. My world, my existence is constantly reaching, seeking distance from this fantasy that we consider reality, but it's in this world that people pretend the most. Never really able to show all of themselves, even to their own friends and families. In my world this fear does not exist, the condemnation, feelings such as shame or guilt and regret. I breathe in a world that many would call a fantasy world... for that's the business I am in... is it not? No... I chose this, time and time again I choose this. I seek the truth in people, the rawness, the secrets they fear, I seek the corruption of the caged mind...the decadence and the darkness... the beauty. I want this... for I am not ashamed. I do not follow, I will not follow. I believe I am intelligent and self aware enough not to follow... it's as simple as that. I feel sometimes very much like the white swan and the black. Though, I never fear that part of me, I let it seduce me... I find it intoxicating and passionate, striving to find somewhere luscious and worthy for it to grow and extend my wings. I am undeniably devious and depraved... constantly amusing myself with my games. I am wicked in the most extraordinary ways... and when I am evil, it is exquisitely so... and much like a child I just want to play, to live by my desires and to be free... to dwell in that freedom, the existence of loving myself, of the pleasures and the pain, living down the rabbit hole, happily, might I add. To unleash myself and to release others. I want to share such bliss... if only for a time being, entering into my world... I welcome this.